Note: I have decided to not disclose the company that I was interviewed by and keep it anonymous for legal purposes.
It started out like any other job interview. I went over to the Engineering Career and Assistance Center interview suite on campus at 10 o’clock on a Monday morning.
He called my name, “Andrew?” When I met the interviewer, I shook his hand. We went into the interview room. He began by introducing himself and the company he worked with. He said there was potentially one position for an internship for the summer. He then opened a folder containing the resumes of all the candidates. He said, “I’ve been looking at your resume…”
Then I noticed something a little odd: two small coffee stains on the right side of my resume. I remarked, “There’s coffee stains on my resume.” They were small, brown and round spots about 1 centimeter or so each. I had electronically sent in my resume in a email, so it wasn’t my fault.
He smiled and said “That means I’ve been looking at this very hard.” We then had one of the best interviews I have ever had. I told him that since it was a concrete company, I did have my Materials course led by a concrete specialist. Half the semester was spent on concrete, and that I got to do a mix design in lab and test it out. I also told him that despite I wanted a general contractor, that in a subcontractor I could learn some ins and outs. I also told him that I’m getting a minor in Architectural Studies because that was my first major. I think knowing architects and how they design and operate will help me navigate the construction industry in a different perspective. We went over my past jobs and what skills I had learned there.
He saw that I was obviously Catholic,as evidenced by my leadership positions and my past job as a Custodian at the University Catholic Center. He said that the company had Catholic founders. The atmosphere was family-oriented, like one of those big Catholic families. He later mentioned that he was Catholic and that the company was helping with the rectory at his home parish. This gave me hope. I had a place to be at home. I could fit it in well there, even if it wasn’t my first choice.
He then talked about how he got to work with the company and his journey helping build and lead the company. I believe that I got to see him genuinely. By the time it was over, he said “We have two positions available for this summer…” and that he hoped to consider me for the internship. Funny, I thought I heard one earlier. Another hope. Then I shook his hand again and left with a smile on my face. I felt like I won. I had pictures taken by my roommate to benefit the nonprofit he’s interning at, the Borgen Project. I couldn’t stop smiling in my suit.
That day was a day of hope. I thanked the interviewer in one of the most personal professional emails I have ever written. Throughout the week, I held onto hope. I even crowned the Blessed Mother Mary, Queen of My Hope and My Future. I had hope in Jesus, her son. A week and half after the interview, I got an email saying that I didn’t get the internship.
I felt disappointed. I felt like I couldn’t be all that God calls me to be. I compared myself to my friends who had internships lined up. They seemed to have it all at their fingertips. God gave it to them seemingly so easily, and I felt God didn’t give me anything. I still believed in the hope of Jesus, but loving my friends was hard. I could barely believe that my autism was a gift from God. Who I am was worthless.
I realized I was missing faith. I had hope. Hope is the desire. Faith is the trust. Love is the action. God is love. I know that Jesus died for my suffering out of love and that it touched my heart specifically. I needed to trust Jesus. I need to trust that the Holy Spirit guides me in his plan for me. I must follow God’s will. But I need faith, hope and love to get there. They enable me to be genuine as I was in the interview, pointing out the coffee stains. As God knows that there is a place where I am needed and only me. Not anyone else but Andy. I don’t know what plans I have for the summer, as I am applying for different positions in different areas. One research opportunity that could benefit my future, another going back to my old favorite job. No matter what happens I trust in God. I have faith, hope and love.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.- 1 Corinthians 13:13
The Nerd of May